Who Am I To Say
by FairyTailOtakuForever
Summary: Song fic. NALU! Based off the song Who Am I to Say by Hope. Tragic story. Includes character death. Really REALLY bad summary. Oneshot. Please read despite how bad this may sound. Rated T just to be safe...


Yo minna! Otaku-chan here. I know I am still working on other, incomplete, stories, but this idea has been with me a while and I really want to do it. So Please enjoy and let me know what you think.

_Italics are like themes, based off song lyrics but not actually the lyrics themselves..._

_**I OWN NOTHING! FAIRY TAIL BELONGS TO HIRO MASHIMA-SENSEI AND 'Who Am I to Say' BELONGS TO Hope.**_

* * *

_I've always loved you. You're my most precious friend._

Lucy sighed as she soaked in the tub, enjoying the feel of the bubbles that floating around her, gently kissing her skin before winking out of existence. Today had been a rough day. She had gone on a job with Natsu, and as usual, he had destroyed everything. She had no idea how she was going to pay her upcoming rent. Just as she sank lower into the warm waters, a loud sound resonated from her apartment.

CRASH!

Startled, she jumped out of the bath, and, once she was securely wrapped in a towel, holding onto her straightener in case a weapon was needed, she proceeded out into her apartment. She sighed when she saw what had actually happened.

There was Natsu, who had come crashing through her window, hence the sound, trying to piece together her shattered coffee table, which had broke when he landed on it. Turns out, coffee tables aren't as stable as they appear to be.

A deadly aura flickered up around her as she stalked towards Natsu. "Natsu," she whispered menacingly, before her tone rised to a shout. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY COFFEE TABLE?!"

Shocked, Natsu turned and looked at her, eyes wide at the sight of her in a towel standing over him. Despite how mad she was, she blushed a little at how cute he looked trying to futilely put the table back together. I mean, could you blame her, she had had a crush on him for longer than she could remember. But that moment was ruined when Natsu started to laugh.

Eye twitching in annoyance, she choked out her words. "What exactly is so funny to you?"

Barely managing to say anything, he raised a shaky finger to point at her straightener. "Luce, wh-what exactly were you planning on doing with that?" At this, he fell onto his back, tears rolling from his eyes, that was the extent of his laughter.

Embarrassed at Natsu's ridicule, she puffed out her cheeks like she always did when she was mad. "What I supposed to do?" She defended. "My keys weren't in the bathroom with me, so I had to use what was on hand!"

He gave her a look of disbelief. "And you decided that a straightener was your best option?"

She huffed and snapped, "Well anyway, what did you do to my coffee table? What am I supposed to do with it now?"

Chuckling softly, Natsu pulled her down into a hug. Pulling her so close that she could hear his heart beat, she blushed the shade of Erza's hair.

Unable to stand being that close to him, she pushed on his chest, trying to get him to let go of her. There was a struggle, as he wasn't ready to let go yet, and, to put a long story short, the dispute ended with Lucy towel deprived and Natsu with a face smashed into the wall from a Lucy-kick.

Scrambling into the bathroom, Lucy slammed the door shut behind her. She was so embarrassed. Natsu had just seen her naked, yet he had acted like he didn't care. He just saw her as a nakama and nothing else. Tears leaked down her cheeks as she numbly pulled on her pajamas. Why did she have to be stuck in this unrequited love?

When she walked back out, she found Natsu sitting at her desk, looking at the picture of her parents. Unable to form any words to speak to him, she walked by and climbed onto her bed, hugging her pillow to her chest. She hoped Natsu would leave soon.

* * *

As soon as she had walked into the room, Natsu had noticed that Lucy smelled like tears. He hated when the saltiness the brought muddled her typically enticing strawberry aroma. Deciding not to say anthing, however, he picked up her story, decided he would read it.

As he skimmed the pages, an idea popped into his head. Speaking his thoughts out loud, he nonchalantly asked, "Hey Luce, how about we go on a mission tomorrow? I've got the perfect job in mind and afterwards, I have something to give you."

When she didn't reply, he looked up to see tears running down her face, startled, he spoke. "Luce? What's wrong?"

She shot a glare at him so cold it could have even frozen him, and he was a fire wizard. "Nothing you would understand. I don't want to go on a mission with you tomorrow, or, in fact, for a while. I'm taking a break from the team. And don't read my story!"

In that one line, his world suddenly started crashing down around him. Not on a team anymore? What did she mean? If they weren't on a team, then how could he sneak into Lucy's bed anymore? What about all the fun they had together? Who would scold him while laughing, secretly letting him know it was okay? He couldn't think of anything to say, and suddenly, his powers flared up out of control at his emotional overload. The thing that happened next was probably the worst possible thing that could have occurred.

Lucy's story, which she had been writing for years, went up in flames, and, in a matter of seconds, was nothing more than a pile of ash.

* * *

The tension in the room was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. Lucy was the first to react. Immediately she jumped up. "NATSU, YOU IDIOT, HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO MY STORY?"

All that come back was a muddled response. "S-sorry, Luce, I didn't mean-"

She interrupted him. "That's just it. You _never_ mean it, but you_ always_ do it. You destroy everything you touch and I'm sick of it! It's no wonder Igneel left you, he was probably to sick and tired of a loser son like you!"

As soon as the words left her mouth, Lucy immediately regretted them. She had gone too far, even if Natsu had destroyed her story. The hurt on Natsu's face was evident.

Lucy braced herself, waiting for a explosion of rage that never came. He just stood up numbly and walked towards the door. When he turned back to her, she swore she saw tears in his eyes. Smiling sadly, he said, "I really am sorry, Luce."

Then, in a moment, he was gone.

And all that Lucy could think was that he had gone through the front door. He never does that. Oh God, what did I do? How could I have hurt him like that? Natsu, I'm so sorry. I'm so very, very sorry.

* * *

_I always thought we'd be together. But now your gone._

Lucy's feet felt like lead as she trudged towards the guild the next day. She dreaded facing Natsu. She had stayed up all night last night trying to think of a way to apologize to him.

Heaving a sigh, Lucy pushed open the guild door and shuffled over to the bar, weaving through the usual ruckus.

As she sat down, she rested her head on her arms, looking at Mira in depression, who was behind the counter, cleaning the frequently used beer glasses.

At Mira's curious look, she began to explain everything that had transpired last night, from Natsu's lack of reaction to her awful, cruel words. By the end of it, tears were streaming down her face. Looking at Mira in desperation, she asked, "What should I do Mira? Now he'll never talk to me again..."

* * *

Mira looked at the girl before her with pity in her eyes. The blonde looked as if she was on the verge of breaking down.

But secretly, Mira couldn't be happier. This could be the big chance for Natsu and Lucy to get together. An idea popped into her head and she immediately set her plan into motion.

"Hey Lucy," Mira said, prodding the girl's arm. The blonde looked up at her blankly. "I know a way you can make it up to Natsu..."

Immediately Lucy brightened. "What is it?"

Trying to hide smirk, Mira said, "Well, Natsu left on a mission today, but he'll be back tonight. If you went home right now and made him a big dinner and got dressed up pretty, I'll send him over. I bet he would forgive you after that."

Looking desperate enough to try anything, Lucy nodded and bolted out of the room to prepare for her apology dinner.

Mira smiled after, her plan had gone perfectly so far. When Natsu got back, she would convince him to go to Lucy's, even if she had to kill him, and they would both confess their feelings over a romantic dinner.

Starting to hum, Mira turned around to go and prepare for Natsu's return as well.

* * *

Sitting nervously at her dining room table, Lucy fidgeted nervously. Sneaking a glance up at the clock, she felt like she was about to explode with panic. Mira had told to have dinner ready by 9:00 and it was now 11:00. Why wasn't Natsu coming?

Panic coursed through her. Maybe he hated her so much he had refused to come. Lucy shook her head. Since this was one of Mira's plans, she knew that no matter what, Mira would get him here.

Maybe he hadn't gotten back from his mission yet? But that was impossible. Natsu never took that long.

Just as she was about to check the clock again, Lucy heard a noise in her living room. Breathing a sigh of relief, she hurried in, words rushing out of her mouth in a flurry. "Finally, you're here. What took you so-" She stopped dead in her tracks. Standing in the middle of her living room was not Natsu, but Gray, and he looked like he had just seen a ghost.

Nervous, Lucy asked, "Gray? What's going on?"

She noticed that he didn't meet her eye as he stood. Stiffly, he walked over and pulled her into a hug. Before she could react, or push him off, he spoke.

"Lucy, Natsu's dead."

* * *

_My world is frozen. I feel frozen in time, unable to move on._

'_Lucy, Natsu's dead._'

Those three words had shattered her world forever.

For weeks after his death, she didn't speak, not to anyone, not even Levy. It was all anyone could do to get her to eat.

At first she had cried, nonstop. Nothing seemed to be able to stop it, until finally, she just ran out of tears.

Now, she sat numbly, staring off into space. Today was a rare occasion where she had dragged herself to the guild, after everyone's extensive prodding and pleading.

She heard a laugh off in the corner and turned over to see Wendy laughing at a joke that Jet had just said. Next to her sat Carla and Lily.

No one had seen Happy for about a week after Natsu's death. In the end, it had been Lucy, who had gone to the house that Natsu and Happy had shared and coaxed him to come home with her.

Now the two were inseperable. Even now, Happy's blue head was resting on her lap as she sat at the bar. He was having a dream, more likely a nightmare. He kept twitched and tears were at the corners of his eyes. A pitiful cry escaped his lips, "Lucy..."

Smiling sadly, she reached down and pet the blue exceed's head. She remembered one night waking up to find Natsu doing much the same.

_"What are you doing Natsu?" asked a groggy Lucy, a little peeved at being woken in the middle of the night._

_Wordlessly, Natsu put a finger to his lips and smiled gently at her. In his lap lay Happy, who was tossing and turning, apparently trapped inside a nightmare. _

_Natsu began to wordlessly stroke Happy's head, whispering things like "It's all right," and "I'm right here Happy, and so is Lucy". He kept whispering until Happy finally calmed down._

_When Lucy looked at him in wonder, he whispered, "Happy has had nightmares since he was little of one day me never coming home, and recently they've also been where you didn't come home either... Whenever this happens, I always hold him until he settles down again. Don't tell him though, or he'll be embarrassed._

_Lucy smiled back at him and nodded, also reaching out a hand to pat the blue exceed._

It had been in that moment that Lucy had known that she loved him. And now she felt like she would never love again.

For a while, she had contemplated suicide, believing that there was no way that she could possibly live without him. And if it wasn't for Happy, she might have done it. Every time she went home and held a hovering blade above her wrist, she would remember that night and how Natsu had said that Happy had nightmares of her leaving, and she would hurl the blade across the room in disgust.

Wiping a tear from her eye, Lucy stood up, carrying Happy in her arms. Waving goodbye to Mira, she headed back home. She couldn't bring herself to stay any longer. Especially not today.

Taking a detour from her usual path, she walked in allies and secret passage ways, just in case anyone from Fairy Tail had left the guild. She wanted to be alone today, so she could talk to him, alone.

Finally she arrived at her destination. Natsu's grave.

* * *

_It's been so long since I've seen your face. Will I forget your smile?_

Sinking on her knees, she held Happy in her lap and began to talk to Natsu. This was the first time she had been able to bring herself to the grave. It had been too hard before.

"Hey, Natsu. It's me, Lucy. It's been a while huh? Sorry for not coming sooner but it was just too hard..."

She could almost hear his reply. '_Naw, my Luce? She can do anything._'

She smiled and rested her hand on the headstone, her vision becoming blurred with tears. "A lot's happened since you left. Happy and I live together now. I'm pretty sure that Levy and Gajeel are going to confess to each other any day now. Gray finally accepted Juvia and their first kid is due on your birthday. Funny coincidence, huh? Mira was beside herself when Gray proposed..."

Now unable to see anything, the tears began to escape from her eyes one by one. "I miss you a lot. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you. What we still had to do together. Things I wanted to say to you. To tell you I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry..."

Her body shaking, she forced herself to continue. "I didn't mean it when I said Igneel was ashamed of you. It was a lie. I just was so sad and frustrated that you didn't love me. Not like I loved you..."

Sobbing, she buried her face in her hands. What wouldn't she give to just see his face once more, to see that toothy smile. TO hug him. To tell him that she loved him.

But it was all too late now. Now, she would never be able to see him again.

She stood up after a while, all her tears having run out. "Hey Natsu. It's been one year since you died and I miss you so much it hurts. Do you miss me too?"

* * *

_I wonder, did you love me too? I guess I'll never know_

When Lucy arrived home at her apartment, she layed Happy down on the bed, before changing into her night gown, which was now accompanied by Natsu's scarf, which she wore to bed with her every night. It was the only way she got any sleep.

Sitting down at her desk, she tried to write for a while. A few weeks ago she had decided to rewrite her novel, to keep her mind occupied. But every time she got to a part with Natsu in it, she had to stop.

Sighing, she opened the door to her desk when something fell out. Curious, she picked it up.

It was a letter, addressed to her. It didn't say who it was from. Impulsively, she opened it and began reading.

'_Dear Luce,_

_Hey Luce. You're probably surprised to get this from me. You probably didn't even know that I knew how to write. Haha! But anyway, I have something to tell you. I've tried to tell you in person several times, but I just can't say it like I want to. So, here goes. Luce, I love you. Not just as a nakama, but as something more. You mean more to me than you'll ever know. Your smile, your laugh, your beautiful eyes, I love them all. Your angry face, your weirdness, and even your embarrassed face. _

_So, Lucy, will you go out with me?_

_Love,_

_Natsu_

Lucy sobbed as she folded up the letter, holding it tightly to her chest. He had loved her. He had loved her too. She gasped as she remembered his words during their last fight.

'I've got the perfect job in mind and afterwards I have something to give you.'

He must have meant the letter. She smiled bitterly. She had been so close to her happily ever after, and then she ruined it.

Standing up, took a deep breath. Speaking aloud to reaffirm it, she made a vow. "All right. I, Lucy Heartfilia, vow to move on. I will never forget Natsu and never fall in love again, but I shall love my nakama and be happy for them." Walking over to the bed, she stroked the sleeping Happy, and he murmured in her sleep. "I'll start an orphanage and help raise children who don't have someone to say that they love them. My adventures with Natsu were my last ones, and now, I'll work on helping raise the next generation of adventurers."

Kissing the letter, Lucy walked over to her open window, and released it into the wind, letting it float away into the night.

Walking over to the bed, she climbed in, tears streaming down her face.

* * *

Happy woke at her joining him, and sleepily murmured, "Lucy, what's wrong? What happened?"

She smiled at him sadly in the darkness of her room. "I moved on, Happy. This is going to be the last time I'm going to cry, okay? Tomorrow, we have a lot to do, but tonight, let me say good bye."

Not understanding fully, but seeing Lucy in pain, Happy snuggled closer. He wasn't sure why, but from now on, he felt that things would be a little better.

* * *

_I still miss you, but I know you're with me. You make me stronger, and I will always love you._

An old woman walked down the row in the middle of a large room, the walls all lined with beds filled with sleeping children. At each bed, she would stop and kiss each child good night.

She smiled as she passed one bed, in which her best friend, Happy, was curled up with a small girl who was known to have nightmares.

When she came to the last bed, she noticed a wriggling little girl who didn't look ready to sleep at all.

Walking over, the woman said, amusement in her voice, "You should go to sleep, my child."

"Tell me a story, Okaa-san!" begged the young girl, her chocolate hair in long dark braids laying in a misshapen halo around her head.

Smiling, an old woman picked up the young girl and sat her on her lap. "What story do you want to hear, my child?"

The girl looked thoughtful for a moment, before whispering with glee, "Tell me about the mark on your hand, Fairy Tail, and your dragon prince!"

Lucy smiled. She loved to tell this story. Raising her wrinkled hand she stroked the child's cheek and began. "Long ago, there was a princess. She didn't want to be a princess, however, so she ran away from home. She thought she was going to be alone forever, when one day she met a dragon prince. His name was Natsu..."

* * *

Wow! I'm done guys. This was a tough one to write, but I hope you liked it. I cried writing it, so I hope it pulls on your heartstrings a little bit. I hope you like how Lucy ended up. Please Rate & Review! Thanks. (BTW These are not the actual lyrics of the song, just my own little Lucy-fied version, like how she would have said it given what was happening) ~ 3 Otaku-chan


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